Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Pop Sock.

Is there a word that makes you smile or even laugh out loud??? I have several words that just don't sound right if you say it more than twice, sometimes it even sends me into a complete laughing fit. This was exactly what happened this morning.............I was on the phone to The Northern Mother (who to be fair is usually the one I will laugh with at strange words) and I quite innocently asked her if she thought that wearing new loafers to walk in on holiday with no socks (coz lets face it, that just wouldn't look cool) was a silly idea and what should I do.

She suggested what she thought would be a jolly good alternative.....Pop Socks.......Pop Socks.....Just say it out loud to yourselves now....Go On.....Pop Socks.........Well that was it, I collapsed into a fit of heaving giggles that forced tears to actually roll down my cheeks. Why was it so funny? Why did those words make me lose it? Why were they even called Pop Socks? Was it because you could just Pop them on? I really have no idea but it just did and the more we said it the more we laughed.

I can remember my nan wearing Pop Socks and thinking they were ridiculously dreadful. But needs must and I think Mum might be onto something. So in the name of research I.....The 40 Year Old Domestic Goddess.....Am going to set a new trend in the very hip hop city of New York and am going to be wearing Pop Socks under my jeans with my new loafers. Luckily I don't wear skirts so I am afraid you will not be getting a report back about how they looked with one of those.

I am not going to tell The Teenager who has her whole wardrobe planned for this trip due to the fact that she will either disown me or refuse to go out with me. I will just slip them on at the last minute in the loo and hope nobody notices.

That's if I can stop laughing at the mere thought of wearing.........Pop Socks.

Here are my top 5 words that get me every time. What are yours ???????


Lots of Pop Socking Love


Thursday, 21 March 2013

Vote For Me...Because, I'm Worth It !!!

Application Form For The  Brilliance In Blogging Awards

NAME: The 40 Year Old Domestic Goddess

AGE: 60 - 20 + 2 + = ???????

OCCUPATION: Wife, mum, friend, nurse maid, taxi driver, teacher, counsellor, maid, cook, cleaner.

SEX: Plenty thanks.


HOBBIES: Eating, talking, eating, talking, eating....You get the drift.

WHY SHOULD YOU VOTE FOR ME: I have no idea really other than hopefully I may of made you laugh, smile or giggle over the past year. Please also take into account that I have never....No...Never, won anything in my life...Not even pass the parcel at my own birthday parties and everyone knows the birthday girl should win at least once (Not that I'm bitter).

This is very strange territory for me, I'm not used to asking for votes or anything else to be fair. But I figured that if you don't ask and try your hardest you don't get. In June I am going up to London for the annual BritMums Live Blogging Conference. 500 women from all walks of life will be attending and in the evening an awards ceremony will be held to announce the winners of the Bibs (Brilliance In Blogging Awards). Just to be nominated would be amazing but to win would probably send me into orbit.

I am incredibly proud of my blog and use is as a kind of therapy. I also love the fact that in years to come when I am old, incontinent, pushing my trolley into peoples ankles on purpose and drinking my Sherry I will be able to look back and read all the memories I have captured on my blog. Hopefully I will be able to remember them too.

So, there we go, I will beg no more. If you have a spare minute or just think to yourself "Hmm, Yes...She has made me smile this year" then please click on the link at the bottom and fill out the info under the Laugh Category or if you fancy the Family Category.

Thanks for all you continued support over the years.

Lots Of Love
Me xxxx


Some posts makes you laugh out loud. Some make you smile wryly to yourself. This award celebrates humour and wit whatever form it takes. Not much is out-of-bounds for these funny men and women.



Blogging is cheaper than therapy (not that we would know). And sometimes sharing (over sharing?) family life stories can be a very satisfying process. These bloggers let it rip when it comes to writing about family life.

The info you will need is as follows, you can always copy and paste the links.
The 40 Year Old Domestic Goddess
Twitter ID: @sthurley49


You will also be given the option to say why you're nominating me and a link to your favourite post. This part isnt as important as the information above and you wont need it to make your nomination count.


Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Step Into My Office.

I have a place I go sometimes, a place where I can shut my eyes and relax and ignore the crazy world outside the door. I only go to this place once in a while but when I do I don't want to leave.....Ever.

It is the smallest room in our house and by far the most used..............It is lovingly known as......The Bathroom or as I like to call it....My Office.

It is where I go to think and ponder and write things in my head, it is where the world can stand still for a small amount of time and I can just be........Well.......Just be.

I must point out that this room only becomes this safe haven or hidey hole when I am planning a nice bubble bath, it does not have the same meaning when I'm using the loo or brushing my teeth.

Last night whilst the kids were in their rooms (with the doors shut due to both being older and hating each others choice in music or XBox game noise) I planned my great escape. As I poured myself a glass of wine I turned the taps on and poured my favourite bubble bath under the running water. Little bubbles appeared and that familiar smell of luxury wafted up into the air. I have to be very careful to shut the door whilst doing this in case The Teenager gets a whiff and comes bounding out demanding that "Awwwwwww....I really want that bath....Can I...Can I ?"..........

The next job is to light my little candles all around the bath and shelf and then its just a case of waiting................As I slip into the warm water (to be fair I have to have it so hot it makes you go "OOO..OOO") and lie back to enjoy the soft music playing from my IPad. After a sip of wine and a little smile to myself everything floats away with the music and my body starts to relax...................................................................................Suddenly the door bursts open (we have no lock I must add...Not sure why but we just don't) ...........................And like his name suggests The Whirlwind appears in a burst of cold air. Without even saying anything he blows all my candles out one by one "Muuuummmmm....Can I but some Microsoft points so that I can play this wicked game that all my friends are playing"
"Errrrrrr......Excuse me, but you've just blown all my candles out" I reply
"Oh yeah, sorry.....But can I have the points?" he absently says
I asked him to wait until The Husband gets home and then ask him. He accepts my answer and leaves as quick as he came in. The trouble was I now had to get out of the bath to re-light my candles again.

Then...A knock at the door..."Mummmm can I show you something" The Teenager had rumbled me. "Yes..Yes..Step into my office" I replied
"Your what?" she says with a confused look "Anyway I just have to show you this piece of art I've just done".
And with that..... on go the harsh lights ,out go the candles and she sits down using the loo as a chair. After several minutes when she finally decided to bugger off leave she kindly shuts the door and peace is once more resumed.

Right, I thought....One last attempt to have a moment and then I will have to get out...........

Bang, bang, thump, thump.......I hear the sounds of size 12 feet coming up the stairs..."Hiya kids,Wheres Mum?" comes the familiar booming voice of The Husband.
"In the bath relaxing" a pair of voices in perfect unison shouts back.

Once again the door flys open this time blowing all the candles out with the pure force of the door being opened so quickly......."Sorry love but I am desperate for a wee...Cant you hurry up"

It was at this moment I realised that I should just give up and admit defeat. With a heavy heart and a half empty wine glass in hand I decamped to the bedroom.

I thought about getting back in and telling them that if they came in I was going to drown them one by one in the bloody bath but realised I could hear splashing....Oh yes.....The Teenager was in there.......As if this wasn't insult enough her parting gift to me as she disappeared into the steam was...."Muummm, can you light the candles again for me....Thaaaaannkkksss"....................

I take comfort in the fact that one day they will be all grown up and leaving home and then I will have all the time in the world to lay in my bath................................................................Oh God....What if they never leave home....................Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Lots of Love

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Who Wants Earplugs ?

Myself , The Northern Mother and the Spaniel decided to venture out for a walk in the woods today. The weather has been so grotty lately that it was nice to be outside with the sun on our faces.

The Spaniel, being a slightly pampered pooch was demoted to the back seat so that mum could sit in the front. He is so pampered that she even offered to swap places with him as he wined and winged in the back.

On our arrival we were greeted by a whole flock of sheep who took it upon themselves to mock the dogs noisy protests by bleating at him very loudly. He in turn squealed even louder and before we knew it the peace and quiet of the beautiful church grounds had vanished into a scene fresh from animals gone wild.

I really have no idea why he makes these noises other than he is just so excited and cannot contain himself (that and the fact he is slightly insane). It feels like I have a really naughty 2 year old having the most spectacular tantrum. People will stop and stare and shake their heads in disbelief at the raucous sounds he makes. I have even had someone ask me if he is in pain to which I replied "he might be in a minute if he doesn't shut up". The thing that makes me smile is the looks on the other dogs faces, what are they thinking I wonder to myself? Thank goodness dogs cannot talk, otherwise we may of heard....

"Oi oi mate, calm down, whats your problem" or
"Bloody hell...Whats up with you.....Chill Out" or even...
"Hey dude.......Seriously.....Shut the !#@$ up....Your hurting my ears"

Its like he has to let everyone know he's here, has to announce his arrival like he's someone famous. Once off the lead he stops....Just stops...Not a sound........Until......He sees someone...Whether it be human or animal...Off he goes again, all singing and all dancing with jazz hands making that noise.

An old lady once asked me if he was a puppy to which I reluctantly had to reply "Ermm...No...Hes 7".

And there in lies the problem...He is 7 and there isn't a great deal I can teach him now. I guess I will just have to carry on doing that playground mum face when your kid has been naughty and the teacher is calling you back....You know the one I mean.....Yes.....That's the face.

One things for sure though....I wouldn't swap him for the world.........Taking his voice box out...Yes....But not swapping him.

Lots of love

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

I Told You So!!!

After my post yesterday about my loathing of the cold weather my feelings have not changed this morning. Let me take you back 24 hours to the scene yesterday morning at Domestic Goddess HQ. The Husband (who is a Libra and this makes him jolly indecisive) was trying to decide whether to go to his Surrey office or his Kent office due to the predicted weather that was coming. As I drank my coffee I decided to impart my pearls of wisdom to aid the decision that needed to be made........

"Why don't you go to the Kent office, that way you are nearer to home and I can keep you posted on the weather". I advised.

"Hmmmmmmm.....I don't know.........Shall I.........It might be better in Surrey......Hmmmmmmmm........Although Kent is nearer...........Hmmmmmmmmm" He replied.

"I think you should head off now and just make sure you are home by 6 pm as that's when its going to get really bad" I said.

"OK Wincy Willis (for anyone who is not as old as me, she used to be a weather lady on TV am....God now I do feel old) thanks for your advice but I think I am quite capable of telling what the weather is going to do, plus they said all this last time and nothing happened. Some of us do actually have to go to work you know" he replied.

"Fine" I said, "but ,if you get bloody stuck in this tonight don't say I didn't warn you." I said.

The conversation ended and he headed out of the door to work leaving me with a kiss to the head and a cheery goodbye."Don't worry, it wont be as bad as they are saying" he shouted from the end of the garden.

As many of you will know Sussex was hit by the biggest dumping of snow last night. I texted him at 3.45pm to say that it was coming down quite bad and that he should think about making a move. The reply I got was "Calm down, its fine here". I texed him again at 4.45 to say things were looking worse...Nothing......I texted again at 5pm and told him I wasn't joking......Nothing.....

At 5.45pm he finally called to say he was well and truly stuck...............Now, to cut a very long story short what should of taken him 1/2 hour actually took him 4 hours. After getting stuck behind 2 jack knifed lorries, almost crashing into a tree and yelling at the gritting lorries he finally staggered through the door at 9.30pm. As he emerged all covered in snow the first thing he said was "Don't you dare say it...............I am not in the mood for you to tell me that I should of left earlier".

I carried on cleaning up the supper plates and smiled sweetly to myself....."Oh I wont darling, I'm just glad to have you home safe and sound" I said (all be it a bit sarcastically ).

As I went up the stairs to run a bath I looked over my shoulder and whispered "But,.......I told you so"...........There really is no greater feeling than being right is there.

Lots of smug love

Monday, 11 March 2013

Bugger Off Winter.

It is unlike me to hate anything, it is unlike me to really dislike something so much that I would happily take a grenade and blow it up. It is unlike me to want to shout from the highest rooftop BUGGER OFF!!!! But on this occasion I would like to do all of the before mentioned.

I am talking about winter......

As I write this blog I am struck by how cold my fingers are and am actually impressed I can type at all considering I cant actually feel them. Whilst looking out of the window at the falling snow that I once remarked "how beautiful and clean snow is" blah blah blah blah. I am now feeling the complete opposite of this and cannot in fact wait for this bloody season to bugger off. There are many reasons why I am not only bored of it but am quite positively naffed off with it.

1. My hair (no matter how much Moroccan oil I use) takes on a life of its own and by 11am I am resembling Diana Ross on a bad day.

2. I feel the need to eat, I cant help it.......The colder I get the more I crave bad things. I actually ate a whole box of creme eggs yesterday (although I did feel really sick afterwards).

3. I am fed up with wrapping myself up like an explorer from the Antarctic just to go and buy a bloody newspaper.

4. My nose drips like a leaking faucet and even worse it drips and you don't even realise its doing it due to your face being so cold you not feeling it. You can bet your bottom dollar that's the day you will bump into someone really attractive and stand there with snot running down your frozen lip.

5. Needing the loo in a rush when trussed up in thermals. This can prove very tricky unless like me you just cant get it all of in time and........Whoops......Need I say more.

I could go on and on, cold is just bad bad bad. When you are sick nobody ever says "Awwww do you have a warm"??? No, they say "Awwww do you have a COLD"???? 

I am longing for the sun to warm me, to fling open the doors and windows at 7am to let the light and smells of summer waft through my home as well as late nights on the decking with a glass of wine. I need to see the sun, wear flip flops and throw on a pair of cropped jeans with a t-shirt whilst driving with the windows down.

So come on summer, hurry up. I promise I wont moan when its too hot and I'm still fat. I promise I will never say "God, I wish it was winter I'm so hot". If you like me are wishing the warmer weather to hurry up we all need to shut our eyes and make a huge gigantic wish.......Ready........1....2....3....Wish now................

Nope............Nothing......Useless.......Its still cold......... I guess we will have to practise what we preach to our kids about patience and just wait.

In the meantime I'm off to put on many layers (having a wee first) walk up to the the shops with my snow poles and Antarctic ruck sack to purchase 6st of chocolate whilst singing "I'm in the middle of a chain reaction" through my snotty nose.

Keep Warm My Lovelies

Thursday, 7 March 2013

My Topsy Turvy Baby.

This time 12 years ago I was 16 stone, bloated, uncomfortable, irritable, itchy and very very pregnant......To be honest aside from being pregnant nothing has changed...........Joking.

This time 12 years ago I was in hospital awaiting my turn to deliver my baby by C Section. After the most horrendous labour with The Teenager I was totally relieved at being told I had to have a section. This was due to my baby being upside down, back to front and generally Topsy Turvy. As I walked down to theatre in my rather attractive surgical stockings and sexy backless nightgown I realised that our lives were about to change forever and our little unit of 3 was about to become 4. I can remember looking through the door into theatre and thinking that there was no way on this earth I was going to fit on that little skinny table. I remember The Husband getting stuck in his scrubs and having to pull the panic cord in the loo to get help. I remember all the smells and sounds and sights that flooded me with emotion as I lay on this skinny table waiting to meet this new little person.

As the clock ticked loudly in my ears as the surgeon asked me if I minded him playing some music, at this stage I was so nervous he could of stood on top of me and tap danced to be fair. The music began and the clock ticked even louder, I strained to recognise the track he was playing.........Then it hit me......This had to be a joke.......Someone say something.........He was only playing the theme tune from The Omen...Oh marvellous......Was this a sign????? 

Then......Silence.....More silence.......And......."Well hello you, what a little smasher you are" said the surgeon. I realised that I hadn't been breathing for the entire time and my heart rate was going up dramatically. "Well, well...You've been here before haven't you " said the midwife as she appeared with this little bundle. "Don't worry Mum and Dad, he's just a quiet one who apparently was more than ready to come out and take on the world"she said whilst laughing.

And there he was, our little boy, my Topsy turvy baby who had caused me so much pain and stress. And just like the nurse said he was totally unfazed by the whole experience, he looked straight into my soul and back again and my heart melted at this perfect completely clean, blue eyed boy. The Husband by this point was sobbing quietly and laughing at the fact he had been delivered at kick off time. I had forgotten all about the music and just drank in every moment whilst looking at what we had made.

So here we are today 12 years on and he really hasn't changed a whole lot. He is still very wise and gentle as well as being quiet serious and sensitive. He comes out with facts and statements like he has a 62 year old professor trapped inside his soul, we all silently shake our heads in amazement when we discover he is right and we are wrong. Above all he still has those bright blue eyes that can look into my heart and know when I am sad and need a hug. We have this incredible connection where we finish each others sentences and know what the other one is feeling without asking. We can drive each other insane as our impatient and impulsive sides show their faces. He has driven me nuts and made me cry, he has made me hold my breath more than once with his no fear attitude, he has made me laugh until I cannot breathe and made my heart swell twice its size with pride.

He made our little family complete and I never let a day pass when I don't look at both of my kids and thank the sky above for giving me the chance to know, love and watch them grow. The Husband has learnt to accept that sports are just not his thing and is learning to love and respect his fascination for all things technical. The Teenager as much as she wont admit it loves him to death and he loves her exactly the same.

I am staggered at how quickly 12 years have gone by, it actually frightens me to think the next 12 will go by even faster. I have made myself a promise to take more photos of them so I will always have those memories to look back on. I have vowed to slow down and sit for longer listening to them as well as grabbing every opportunity there is to hug them and tell them how much I love them.

As I write this blog he is upstairs with his best friend on the computer laughing at some silly You Tube video. His wish for today was to have a take away pizza and ice cream and then when his mate has gone home he wants to watch a movie with us whilst wearing his new onesy and eating popcorn.....You see.......A simple boy, with simple wishes..........

Happy Birthday my Topsy turvy baby......Thank you for being you.

Lots of Love